Play Me
by TheBlackDove4
Summary: During freshman year, everyone knew that Mike liked Bella. But what happens when Mike never speaks up and Bella sees something in another friend she never noticed before? BxE All-Human
1. Preface

Preface

In my Spanish class during freshman year, I was the only girl in a group of five. Sam Uley, Edward Cullen, Eric Yorkie, and Mike Newton. These were my best friends. Sam was the senior who only wanted out, Sophomore Edward was the class clown, Eric was the annoying freshman who none of us really ever cared for, and Mike was mine.

We all knew that Mike liked me. It was written all over his face every single day. He was constantly playing with my hair, he chose me as a partner for all the class projects, and he always wore this goofy smile when he was around me; it was more than obvious. Edward had even suggested that Mike and I go out. But it was a family rule that I couldn't date until I was sixteen, so that let Mike off the hook. However, I still wanted him to admit his feelings. No, I wasn't _crazy_ about him, but I wouldn't have hesitated to give him a chance.

And by the end of our freshman year, Mike never spoke up about his feelings. It disappointed me greatly, but I couldn't bring myself to be upset. After all, there were plenty more fish in the sea. But more importantly, I had no idea that at the beginning of the following year, Mike Newton would be the least of my worries…

Chapter 1

I was only a month into my sophomore year. A month and a week, to be exact. I had decided to take an Aerobic Dance class and an acting class, both of which I was quickly beginning to regret. I didn't have enough coordination to walk in a straight line, let alone _dance_. And acting… well, enough said. I was working with Eric Yorkie on "blank skits". We had a conversation in which there were only one-word lines. The objective was to use body language and vocal inflection to make the audience understand the untold topic of the conversation.

Our drama teacher, Miss Kay, called for us to gather together on the stage to present our skits. She asked for volunteers. Eric turned to me.

"C'mon, Bella! Let's do ours!" he whispered loudly.

"No, Eric."

"Please? Let's get it over with."

That sounded good to me! I immediately got up and let Eric pull me to center stage with him. I looked down at the paper in my hand. Eric started with the first line.

"So?"

"Guess!"

"Tell me!"

"Now…"

"Really?"

"Really."

We finished and Miss Kay turned to the rest of the class on stage.

"Okay, can anyone give Bella and Eric some ideas on how to better define their skit? What could their conversation have been about?"

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw a hand go up casually. I turned to the person and my heart began to pound and I could feel the blush hit my cheeks. Edward Cullen was sitting in the director's chair, eyeballing me.

"Yes?" Miss Kay asked, pointing to Edward.

Edward pointed to me.

"I think _she_ could have a new boyfriend and _he_ could be trying to figure out who it is."

I didn't hear any other comment after that. I was too busy looking at Edward. I had no idea why. I knew that I didn't like him. Hell no! He was repulsive; I hadn't forgotten that. So I stood there, nodding, like I was receiving criticism from a complete stranger, just as he acted like he was giving it to a complete stranger. As far as everyone else was concerned, Edward and I didn't know each other.

After all the blank skits were presented, I sat down in the House **(A/N: place where audience sits)**. Not but moments later, I heard Edward call my name. I looked up and he beckoned me to come to him. I got up and made my way over to where he was, with the enthusiasm of a girl who would do anything for him. Where was all this coming from? I didn't act like this four months prior.

I sat down next to him and we talked for the rest of the class period. He was in the Drama Tech class in the drama building classroom, not the stage area like the acting class was. We talked about the classes we were taking and, for some reason, Mike. I didn't know why, but it bothered me that Edward continued to talk about Mike like there was something going on between me and him. I tried to disregard it, but it ate away at me throughout the day.

The next day, I trudged through the horrid rain of Forks to the drama building. I was exhausted and grumpy. But that was until I heard a velvety voice call my name as I was walking up the stairs to the door.

"Bella!"

I turned around. It was Edward. I suddenly felt all the agitation leave me.

"Bella, geez, I've been calling your name for, like, two minutes."

"Sorry, didn't hear you."

We went inside together. And I went straight to the stage, praying that I wouldn't trip and fall on the way. My heart was pounding again. I wasn't sure if it was because I found it flattering that he wanted my attention or… _C'mon, Bella! Snap out of it! Isabella Marie Swan does _not_ have crushes! You'll only get hurt!_

I sighed and continued to the stage. I couldn't let this happen. Crushes created drama. And besides, Edward was a player. The first and only compliment he had ever given me was on my breasts. I had been wearing a D-cup since the summer before my freshman year and, apparently, Edward had never seen a girl with D-cup breasts who wasn't morbidly obese. I remembered that compliment perfectly.

_"You have nice tits. That's _one_ good quality about you."_

_ "I can't believe you had the audacity to say that to my face."_

_ "Don't get mad; it was a compliment."_

_ "I'm not mad."_

_ "Good."_

_ Then he high-fived me._

I sat down in the House and tried to think something that would deter my thoughts from Edward Cullen. When nothing else worked, I hopelessly turned to my lost memories of Mike Newton.


	2. Whose Line Is It Anyway?

I walked through the front door after school and sighed. My mom, Renee, appeared from the kitchen.

"Hey, honey. How was school?"

I put on my best fake smile, something I didn't learn in acting class.

"Great."

"How's Mike?"

"I wouldn't know. I don't see him and he doesn't call," I said shortly.

"Umm… why not?"

"Who ever said he had to? You know, sometimes people just part ways. It's called growing up. I'm sixteen years old; it's about time I did."

"I thought you really liked Mike!"

"I did. _Did_. We've mutually gone our separate ways."

"Well… alright…"

"I think I'm gonna go to bed."

"But it's Friday. And Seth's been calling. He wanted to see if you wanted to hang out when Billy and your father go fishing tomorrow."

"Tell him I have mono."

I didn't wait to hear a reply. I needed sleep. I figured if I got enough, this whole Edward Cullen anxiety would pass. I truly wasn't hot for him or anything. Hell, I honestly wasn't interested in guys. I was only five days into my ability to date, but I didn't care. Mike was out of sight and mind, and every other guy was just gross. But I would admit… Edward was pretty attractive. His personality helped a lot. However, I knew he wasn't a good choice, which was why I just _knew_ I didn't really like him.

And with those final thoughts, I fell asleep.

On Monday, my mind was free and clear and under control. There were no Edward-thoughts whatsoever. I took my time walking to drama class, enjoying the sunshine. I took a deep, revitalizing breath before I walked through the door to see Edward standing there. He held a bag of popcorn in his right hand and he was chewing. He held the bag out for me. I hesitated before grabbing a few pieces, thanking him, and moving on towards the stage. Miss Kay was there to stop me. She turned me around and led me back out to the classroom backstage. I groaned inwardly, but I didn't dwell on it too much. The screen was on at the front of the room. It projected the main menu to a Whose Line Is It Anyway? DVD. _Fabulous_, I thought. I took a seat and stared at the screen, waiting for everyone else to get to class so that Miss Kay would start the movie.

I let out a sigh of relief when she finally did. But I felt my lungs constrict when I heard a chair pull up to my right. I didn't have to turn my head. The popcorn bag found its way to my peripheral vision. I shook off the tension and let my thoughts wonder to other things. I was not about to let Edward's presence bother me. No way, no how. He offered me popcorn once again. I smiled and we sat there, sharing popcorn and watching Whose Line Is It Anyway? And by the end the middle of the period, we were laughing and smiling just like the good old days of my freshman year. After the laughter had died down a bit, I sat there; fully consumed in the improvisation I was watching. After a few minutes, I felt something poke me in the hip. I didn't look away as I poked Edward back. He poked me again and I returned the gesture. Then he was trailing pokes up my side and down to my hip again. I smiled and nudged him hard in the arm with my elbow. Then some random girl came up to Edward.

"Hey, can I have popcorn?"

Edward lifted his eyebrow and I tried to hide an amused smile.

"Do I know you?" he asked her.

"I'm in your class."

Edward hesitated before holding up the bag of popcorn. She girl's face lit up. I looked away, smiling to myself. After the girl walked away, Edward turned to me.

"Next time, I'm gonna make her show me her tits."

"What?!"

"I said next time, I'm gonna make her show me her tits."

"Oh!" I exclaimed in relief. "I thought you were talking about _me_!"

Edward shook his head.

"No, I wouldn't do that to you……. that's Mike's job."

I had smiled in admiration at him saying that he would never do that to me… but then he had to go and ruin with Mike. Therefore, my face immediately soured.

"Mike and I don't talk anymore," I said, trying desperately to hide the defensiveness in my voice. Edward didn't respond.

Then the bell rang and, without speaking, Edward and I left the building. He went out first and turned left to go to the next building over and I went straight ahead towards the gym. The wind was blowing against me and rain clouds were quickly moving in as I walked closer and closer to the gym. _Fabulous_, I thought. _And my day was going so well…_

When I walked into the house, it looked as if Mom had been waiting for me.

"So…..?"

"What?" I asked.

"How was your day?"

"Pretty good, actually."

"Anything exciting happen?"

"Yes… as a matter of fact."

"Do tell."

"Well, in drama, we watched Whose Line Is It Anyway? and… do you remember Edward Cullen? From my Spanish class last year?"

"Mmhm…"

"Well, we watched Whose Line Is It Anyway? together and shared popcorn."

"Hmmm…."

"What?"

"Nothing," she said, smiling to herself.

I rolled my eyes and went back to my bedroom with my journal and I began to write….

I woke up that Thursday at my desk. I had fallen asleep at some ungodly hour while I was writing. I looked down at my page, page 12. There was smudged ink on it. I checked the corner of my mouth for drool, but the source was the corner of my eye. Tears. I had been crying in my sleep. I looked down again, more closely this time, and saw that Edward's name was smeared. It was the only word that had been affected by my tears. I closed my eyes for a few seconds before I got up to get ready for school. I had a massive headache and I still had one more day after today…

"Okay!" Miss Kay yelled over all the talking in the House. We all looked up. She was holding a stack of papers. "Alright, you guys. This is going to be your first test grade of the semester. I have three different scenes that you can all choose from. You're gonna partner up and work on these scenes for the next two months. You need to get out a piece of paper and write down three people in the class you could handle working with and three that you absolutely cannot. Then once you have done that, I will assign you your partner and the scene you will be working on."

I was partnered with Alice Brandon, a girl I had known since I was in kindergarten, but had never really become good friends with. We really didn't know each other. Miss Kay ordered us to split up into our partnered groups and start practicing. Alice and I went out into the lobby of the building. Alice immediately started talking up a storm.

"I think she gave us the best scene out of all of them. It looks as if, by the way they talk, my character is black. I can be a really awesome black girl!"

I smiled. Alice was so cute.

"Okay, well I'm gonna run to the classroom and get my folder right quick."

She smiled and nodded, turning her attention back to our script. Meanwhile, I headed towards the classroom. I went down the hallway that led from the lobby to the bathrooms, from the bathrooms to the classroom. I had to make my way through a small group of people that were conversing happily in the hallway. As I walked by, I felt something jab into my left breast. I turned to see Edward sitting there in the floor with a baton in his hand. He started laughing maniacally. I rolled my eyes and walked away before the blush rising in my cheeks became too obvious. That was the first time either of my breasts had been touched by a guy in any way. And I was a little flustered by the whole ordeal.

I took my time getting my folder from the shelf, procrastinating the inevitable trip I was gonna have to make back through the hallway. After three minutes, I couldn't wait anymore. Alice would start thinking I ditched her. So I made my way back down to the hallway. Edward was sitting there, almost like he was waiting for me. He picked up the baton and looked like he was about to do something to me with it that was dangerous. I started to back away.

"I'm just kidding," he told me reassuringly, "I'm not gonna do anything."

I didn't move. I wasn't completely sure that I trusted him. He could see that, so he sat down, putting the baton under him and lifting his hands in the air.

"See? I'm not gonna do anything."

I let out a small breath and proceeded down the hall. As I passed by Edward, he moved his hand to the baton as if he was going to whip it out and use it on me again. And even though I knew he really wouldn't, I still moved a bit faster than normal. Before I entered through the double doors leading to the lobby, I heard Edward chuckle behind me. Jerk…


	3. I Like Edward Cullen

It was Tuesday and I was craving Thespian points. So when I got to drama, I went straight to the big bulletin board on the wall in the hallway, on which was the sign-up list for ushers for the play that would open Thursday night. Miss Kay turned the corner and her face lit up when she saw me.

"Oh, do you want to usher for the play?"

"Yes, actually…"

"That's great! We need ushers! You need to know that we have an usher meeting here tomorrow right after school. And you are welcome to stay and watch our final dress rehearsal if you like."

"That sounds great. I'll stay for the first act and then have my mom pick me up at intermission."

"Perfect! I guess we'll se you there then!"

I smiled as Miss Kay walked away and I turned to go to Alice, who was waiting for me in the lobby with our script. We were actually becoming really close friends. She knew a lot about me and I knew a lot about her. She was currently in a 6-month relationship with Jasper Hale, a guy on the swim team. They were in talks about getting married after high school. I was jealous. Why didn't I have someone like that? Then my mind started to wander. _Edward doesn't have a girlfriend, does he?_ I wondered. But why did I even care? He meant nothing to me.

However, it was sitting there in that lobby, listening to my best friend, that I realized that he _did_ mean something to me. There was no denying it anymore. I had to admit it to myself. I liked Edward Cullen.


	4. Our First Hug and a Strawberry Blonde

_However, it was sitting there in that lobby, listening to my best friend, that I realized that he did mean something to me. There was no denying it anymore. I had to admit it to myself. I liked Edward Cullen._

A pair of fingers snapped in front of my face. I jerked my head towards Alice.

"What?"

"Are you okay? You seem a little distracted."

"Oh, it's nothing. I just keep thinking about my great-grandmother, Laura. She's been in the hospital for awhile. She's 100, you know."

"Holy snot! 100?! Are you kidding?!"

"No," I laughed, "she's the cutest thing you've ever seen."

"Hey, are you thinking about going to homecoming?"

"Absolutely not. Dancing is not a good idea for me."

"Don't be silly! You have to go! It'll be so much fun! Jasper and I are going! You should come with us!"

"That's exactly what I need. To be a third wheel…"

"No boyfriend?"

"No. There could've been, but…"

"What? Who?"

"It was just Mike Newton. He had feelings for me, but he just didn't ever say anything."

"Then how do you know he did?"

"It was obvious. All the guys could tell."

"Ohhh… don't you just love having other guys around to help you tell that stuff? It's so freakin' convenient."

I nodded, missing having Spanish class with all my guys. Things were so much simpler then. I never had to worry about crushing on them or them finding out about the crush… it was just simple. Now, I have to hide my feelings. I hate doing that. It just makes my life more complicated and, one way or another, the truth will come out. There's always that one person who can read everyone else in the class using their own intuition. They can tell how you really feel about another person and what kind of person you are and such. They just know; it's a talent. I even wish I had it sometimes.

Just then, the bell rang and I sprang for the door. I walked out and instinctively turned to the left. A few yards away, I saw him. Edward was hugging some other girl out in the parking lot and she looked like someone I knew. She had strawberry blonde hair and tanned skin. Her body was like that of a model, which made me die a little inside. But I kept walking.

The next day, after school, I trudged up the stairs to the drama building. I gathered around Miss Kay with the other ushers and the House manager, waiting for our meeting to begin. Miss Kay led us through the building and explained which areas the audience was not allowed to enter and what to do if anyone caused a riot or something. After claiming the designated area I wanted to stand post, I went out to the House to claim a seat for the dress rehearsal. I sat there in the front row for a few minutes with my journal, writing about my feelings. Then I heard a familiar voice fill the auditorium and I looked up to see Edward on the stage with other drama kids. He had a taco in each hand and was talking with his mouth half full.

I don't know what possessed me to do this, but the moment I realized his presence, I got up and went onstage with everyone else. The second he saw me, he said something I couldn't understand and walked toward me with his arms outstretched. I gladly entered them.

"If I get food in your hair, I'm sorry."

"I don't care."

And he hugged me. It was the first hug I had ever received from him and I felt so good at that moment. When we finally broke apart, he looked at me.

"Are you staying for dress rehearsal?"

"Yeah." I didn't bother telling him that I only planned to stay through the first act.

"Good. 'Cause this play is so fucking hilarious. You're gonna love it!" And he went on and on about how great this play was. Well, damn. Now I had to make a phone call.

When someone offstage called his name, Edward left, giving me a spare moment to slip into the lobby. I whipped out my cell and dialed my mom's number.

"Hello?"

"Hey, Mom. My meeting's over."

"Okay, and you're staying through the first act, so when I get there from work, it'll be during intermission, right?"

"That's what I was calling about."

"What's up?"

"Don't come get me at all. I'm staying for the whole dress rehearsal."


	5. Adrenaline Where Odyssey Meets Sundance

"_Okay, and you're staying through the first act, so when I get there from work, it'll be during intermission, right?"_

_ "That's what I was calling about."_

_ "What's up?"_

_ "Don't come get me at all. I'm staying for the whole dress rehearsal."_

"Bella, what do you mean?'

"I said I'm staying for the entire dress rehearsal."

"When will it end?"

"8:00. Maybe later."

"Okay, do you want me to pick you up then?"

"No. I'll have Jessica's mom take me home."

"Jessica Stanley?"

"Yes, Mom."

"Okay, then…"

"I'll see you tonight."

"Okay… I love you."

"I love you, too."

"Bye."

"Bye."

I hung up my phone, looking both ways for anyone who might've heard me. There was no one. So I walked back to the classroom where all the actors were putting on their make-up. I saw Edward out of the corner of my eye. I had no idea what possessed me to do what I did next. I still had my phone in my hand. When I knew Edward was looking, I looked down at the phone in my hand and put on a frustrated face. I was expecting what happened next.

"What's wrong?"

I looked to my right to see Edward staring at me intently.

"My mom just called. I've lost my ride home." Yeah. I know.

"I can take you home. Where do you live?"

"Odyssey Road."

"I live where Odyssey meets Sundance. You're on my way home."

"So you'll take me home?"

He shrugged his shoulders and nodded his head casually.

"Okay… thanks."

He nodded again and I went back out to the House as Miss Kay came through to herd all the actors to their places. I walked up to the very back row and sat in the centermost seat. I sat through the whole dress rehearsal, with which I was very impressed. I spotted Edward a couple of times when they made scene changes and deck shifts. Afterwards, I listened in on Miss Kay's post-rehearsal lecture. Then everyone headed backstage to the classroom. I stood there like an idiot with no one to talk to. I saw Edward with a girl. She had strawberry blonde hair with a tanned model body. She was, I realized, the same girl I saw him with yesterday after class. He turned to look at me.

"Find someone to hang out with! You're just standing there."

"I don't exactly know anyone here, Edward."

Just then, the strawberry blonde approached me with her hand out.

"Hi, I'm Tanya!"

"Bella," I responded. I was a little flustered by Tanya's sudden enthusiastic approach, and I could feel the blush rising once again. Edward grinned at me.

"Welcome to the World of Drama. Nothing but…" and he lifted Tanya up and she wrapped her legs around his waist and he buried his face in her cleavage. I shied away, feeling a bit uncomfortable. This was a bit much for me to take in all at once. Surely, Tanya was just another one of his friends. She looked liked a junior, just like Edward. So she was probably more comfortable with that sort of stuff.

I went out to the lobby to try to get a hold of Seth. I wanted to talk to him. He was my little brother's best friend. My brother, or half-brother, Ben, was the kid my mom had with her ex-husband, Phil. After my mom divorced my dad, Charlie, she married Phil. Then, together, they had Ben and started having marital problems. Shortly after Ben turned two, my mom divorced Phil, remarried my dad, and they've been together ever since. Ben is currently thirteen, as is Seth. Sometimes, I felt that Seth was closer to me than he was with Ben. So he was the one I turned to.

After trying Seth's cell three times, I went back to the classroom where people were starting to disappear. I stepped outside to see if I could find Edward. He and Tanya were nowhere to be found. My first thought was that he had taken her and left without me. Yet, there was something in the back of my mind that refused to believe that. _He wouldn't do this to me_, I thought. _I'll just stick around and wait…_

I stood at the base of the stairs leading up to the building. I spotted Alice, Jasper, and a few other people gathered around Jasper's red convertible a few yards away. I was tempted to go over there, but I didn't want to go anywhere that Edward couldn't see me. Plus, I wasn't ready to bring Alice into this. I waited until I saw Edward and Tanya exit the school together. Tanya was carrying a book. _Must've had to go to her locker_, I thought. Edward walked away from Tanya and went over to where Alice, Jasper, and the others were standing and started talking to them. I watched Tanya walk toward me alone. She was carrying a Biology book. _Ohhh,_ I thought. _So she's a_ freshman. She looked at me for a short moment as she walked by me and up the stairs. She looked disappointed.

Was she upset about something? I pondered that question until Edward came up to me. I looked at him, hoping to see something in his eyes that would give me some idea as to what was wrong with Tanya. I saw nothing.

"I know, I know. You wanna go home. Let me go get my keys."

I nodded and waited, looking around for any sign of Tanya. I didn't see her. I turned around when I heard the door open and saw Edward walk out. He turned to his left and looked down. I followed his eyes and saw Tanya sitting there with her knees to her chest. Her face had "vulnerability" written all over it. She looked up at Edward and he held his hands out for her. She took them and he lifted her up and they hugged for an increasingly long time. My heart sank as I watched them. It wasn't necessarily the intimacy between them that hurt. It was what I was about to do. I could tell there was something between them that wasn't between me and him.

After he let go of Tanya, Edward looked at me.

"You ready?"

I nodded. I looked back at everyone standing around, including Tanya. "Bye, you guys!" I tried to sound upbeat about my departure, but all I received in response was a chorus of monotone byes. I turned around and followed Edward to his car, a silver Volvo. I got inside and shut the door. As we pulled out, I turned to Edward, ready to say the seven words that I knew would get the conversation flowing in my favor.

"Thank you so much for doing this."

"Yeah, Tanya wasn't very happy about me doing this…"

Yes! I was gonna milk this for all that's worth. "I'm sorry…"

"I don't care. She'll get over it."

"Are you guys…?"

"No, but she wants to be."

"And what about you?"

"I'm trying to get out of a relationship right now."

"Well, when you do, are you gonna ask her out?"

"If she'll accept it."

"Well, I hope she does."

And it was then that I realized that I meant it. As we left the campus of Forks High School, Edward floored it. We must've been going 90 miles an hour. My heart was pounding so hard… I hadn't given any thought to what I was gonna do when we got to my house. But I pushed that thought aside and let the adrenaline take over my body. I glanced over at Edward wordlessly and discreetly. I took in everything I saw. He was staring out the windshield intently. He looked deep in thought, serious. And I looked at the steering wheel. His left wrist was slung over the top of the steering wheel so casually. It was by far the sexiest thing I have ever seen. I started to get hot. And we hadn't even hit the highway yet.

"Are you cold?" he asked me.

"No."

And he rolled the windows down. The cool air from outside made my hair whip around my face. I felt like flying.

"You like rap?"

"Sure."

And he turned the radio up, blasting the rap station. The adrenaline in me was rushing fast enough to kill a person. I began to wonder if I'd even make it home. I wanted to scream at the top of my lungs, I was on such a high. Goosebumps arose on my arms, but I wasn't cold. I moved my face into the wind and closed my eyes. I knew there was a smile playing on my lips, and since it was dark, I didn't try to hide it. As I closed my eyes, I imagined pulling up to my house and before getting out of the Volvo, Edward pulling me to him and kissing me passionately. But that dream popped like a soap bubble when Edward's phone lit up and Tanya's name flashed across the screen. Edward opened turned down the music and rolled up the windows before answering.

"Hello? Hey…what's wrong?" I leaned in a bit so that I could hear. "No… well, she's in Columbia right now, so there's not much I can do about it until she gets back… would you calm down?" I leaned in a little more. He wasn't talking loud enough for me to hear. "No… look, I think you've got it backwards. Do I need to remind you who said 'I love you' first?" My heart sank. "Just give me until the end of the week; by then, I'll be out of a relationship with her and into a relationship with you." I looked out the window. We were quickly approaching my house. I tapped Edward on the arm.

"My house is coming up."

"Okay," he told me, and then he turned back to his phone call. "Let me call you back." He hung up his phone. I directed him to the correct house. I let him go further than my driveway.

"Okay, just pull in right here," I said, pointing to my dad's warehouse, which was several yards in front of my house. If Mom or Dad saw me getting out of Edward's Volvo, I knew I'd be in for it.

"What?"

"Just do it."

"Alright…"

Edward pulled in next to Dad's warehouse. I began to gather up my stuff.

"I'm guessing that was Tanya?"

"Yeah. She's not mad about this."

"Are you sure? Do I need to talk to her?"

"Yeah, she's fine. But I'm telling you now. _Don't_ talk to Tanya."

"Okay…"

"Is that your house?" Edward asked, pointing to my huge-ass house approximately 20 yards back.

"Yup."

"Are you gonna walk all the way up there?"

"No. I'm gonna run," I grabbed my school bag and my gym bag. "So I'll see you tomorrow?"

"Yeah."

I shut the car door and walked in front of the Volvo. Then I started running up the hill to my house. Behind me, I heard the tires screech as Edward sped away. I snuck under the 6 foot window of my dad's office, careful not to be seen by my mother, who was working. I avoided as many windows as possible as I made my way through Mom's rosebushes to the side porch closest to the driveway. I stopped at the door and took a deep breath before going inside. I set my stuff down and put on my best act as a girl of innocence. I walked through the living room, saying a quick hello to Dad, as I headed for the office. I went up to Mom.

"Hey."

"Oh, hey! How was it?"

"Good. Jessica says hi."

"That's nice. Are you going to bed?"

"Yeah. I'm gonna get a shower first."

"Okay. Good night."

"Night."

I took my shower and crawled into bed. I was still high on adrenaline, so it made it hard to sleep. But there was a thought running through my head that wouldn't stay away. I didn't know Tanya at all. But I still didn't want to hurt her. She was nice enough introduce herself to me when no one else was talking to me. She must have thought that I was going after her man. And the bad part is that… I was. That's exactly what I was trying to do… initially. That was before I realized that she was part of the equation. Now I just want her to understand that I would never try anything while there was another girl. I felt so guilty. I knew then and there that I needed to change my incentive. I would not be chasing after Edward Cullen while he was with Tanya. That much I knew.


	6. La Push

I went straight to the bathrooms when I got to drama class. I had just passed Edward and Tanya hugging very intimately outside the building on my way to class. I was halfway tempted to splash cold water on my face before I threw up. But that was before I noticed Alice standing in front of the mirror.

"Hey!" she greeted me cheerfully.

"Hey," I said, in attempt to return the gesture.

"Did you enjoy the show last night?"

"Mmhm."

"Was that a good 'mmhm' or a bad 'mmhm'?"

"Good," I said. _Very good_.

"Did you get home okay? I heard you were having issues last night getting your mom to pick you up."

"Oh… yeah! Yeah, I got home just fine." I had to turn my head to hide my smile. Little did I know that I was standing in front of a mirror, so turning my head did nothing. I saw Alice raise her eyebrow. After a moment, she just shrugged and went back to applying her make-up.

"So… have you noticed Edward with that Tanya girl?" she asked.

"Oh yeah. A little more than I would like to admit. They seem to be really comfortable with each other."

"Yeah, he came over to the convertible to talk to us last night. He is head-over-heels for her."

"He is?"

"Oh yeah. Totally. When he came over, I asked him if he was dating her and he was like, 'No, but I wish we were. I've asked her out, like, a million times, but she won't say yes. She has no problem making out with me, but she won't go out with me. She says she's not over her last boyfriend'."

"That's not what he said in the Volvo." _Oops._

Alice froze. She raised her eyebrows at me in shock.

"What the hell were you doing in his car? Who all was with you?"

"Actually, it was just me and him… alone… in his Volvo."

"Bella, that scares me. You being in a car alone with Edward Cullen."

"Nothing happened. He was too busy worrying about Tanya."

"What exactly did he tell _you_ last night?"

"Well, I also asked him if they were going out and he said, 'No, but _she_ wants to be.' So I asked him if he did and he said, 'I'm trying to get out of a relationship right now.' He didn't even answer the question!"

"What a _liar_!"

"Not really. I heard proof that backed it up. Later on, he got on the phone with Tanya and actually said the words, 'Give me until the end of the week. By then I'll be out of a relationship with her and into a relationship with you.' Not to mention that when she realized that I was leaving with her man candy, she started pouting. She seemed really threatened by it. She definitely wants to be with him. She wouldn't have been that depressed if she didn't."

"Then why would he lie to _us_?"

"I have no idea. I don't even understand why Edward would be getting involved with a _freshman_."

"Tanya's a _freshman_?!"

"Yup."

"How do you know?"

"She walked out of the school last night carrying a biology textbook. That's freshman material. I used the same textbook last year."

"So that makes her, what? Fourteen?"

"Yeah, most likely."

"And how old is Edward?"

"He'll be seventeen next later this month."

Alice raised her eyebrows at me again.

"I've known him for awhile," I said, shrugging.

"Okay, the age difference may not be illegal, but it's a bit of a stretch, isn't it?"

"Two years, at _least_."

"Well, I just hope the girl knows what she's getting herself into."

"What do you mean?"

"Edward's a player." _Oh, shit. I completely forgot about that…_

"What makes you say that?" _Maybe he's not…_

"I'm the stage manager for this play, Bella. I see _everything_. He makes out with every girl on his deck crew. Behind the curtains, it's dark, there's a lot going on. No one cares. Who would stop him? He's not the charismatic deck manager he seems to be. Well… he _is_… but he's no good."

"You really think he's a player?"

"Well, the truth is in the eye of the beholder. But based on what I've heard and what I've seen, he fits the definition. Honestly, I don't see how Tanya does it. I know I couldn't. I'd be scared to death that he'd cheat on me."

Those last ten words echoed in my head over and over. I didn't want to believe it. Even though he wasn't my problem and wouldn't be anytime soon, it still hurt to think that he could do that to a girl. I really liked this guy…

Two nights later, our Saturday night showing went well… from where I was sitting. There was no telling what was going on behind the curtain, just like Alice said. I went into the lobby where she was standing with Jasper.

"Hey, guys. What's up?"

"Are you going to La Push Beach with the cast and crew tonight?" Alice asked me.

"I didn't think about it. I'd have to ask Renee anyway."

"So ask!" Jasper pushed.

"I'm not even sure that I wanna go. I'd have to find a ride, anyway."

"Isn't your mom over there?" Alice asked, pointing to where Renee was standing.

"Yes."

"Go ask your mom if you can go to La Push!" Jasper pressed again.

"Alright, fine!"

I rolled my eyes and walked over to Renee. She hugged me.

"Oh, honey, I thought it was great!"

"You enjoyed it?"

"Definitely!"

"Hey, can I go to La Push Beach with the cast and crew tonight?"

"Sure. Just find a ride home."

"Hey!" Jasper called. I turned to him. "I can't drive you, by the way."

"Brilliant," I muttered to myself. "I guess I need to find another ride…"

"Okay, well, I'll wait here just in case you don't find one."

"Okay, I'll be right back."

I went up to everyone I knew, looking for a ride. Anyone I could trust was either not going or getting a ride with someone else… someone else I _didn't_ trust or whose car was full. There was one other person who I _did_ trust to drive me _anywhere_. But for Tanya's sake, I was not about to ask that of him. And ironically, the next person I ran into was Tanya on the stage. I already knew who _she_ was riding with. I almost walked away, but a thought stopped me. _If I asked her where I could find a ride, she would definitely lead me away from Edward_, I thought. So I took a chance. God, I've got to stop doing that…

"Hey, Tanya, do you know where I could find a ride to La Push?"

"Ummm…" Tanya didn't even get to answer before a voice called out from behind the grand drape.

_"I can give you a ride!"_

Damn it, Edward Cullen.

I found the opening in the curtain and walked through to see Edward moving a piece of scenery back in place for tomorrow's show.

"You can give me a ride?"

Edward nodded, giving me a hard look, as if it was completely absurd that I ask such a question. I felt incredibly small as I slowly turned back to Tanya, expecting her to be ready to rip my face of with her bare hands. She looked neutral, like she didn't care either way. But, being a girl, I didn't buy it.

"Is that okay with you?" I whispered to where Edward couldn't hear me.

Tanya smiled and nodded, giving me a look, as if it was completely absurd that I ask such a question. I did the same, minus the weird look, and went to tell Renee the plan. I walked by Alice and Jasper, giving Alice a mischievous look on the way. I watched her immediately become alert. I approached Mom.

"I found a ride. You can go home now."

"Who?"

Damn it.

"Edward…"

Mom immediately tensed up. "I don't know…"

"C'mon Mom, I really want to go!"

"I know you do, but…"

I was suddenly desperate. I was willing to do the unthinkable once again. _Lie_.

"His mom's the one driving… if that's what you're wondering."

"She is?"

"Yes."

"Oh, okay then. Just be home by eleven."

"Okay, wait here. I need to make sure they can do that."

"Alright…"

I went back to the stage where Edward was checking the curtains. There was no one else onstage. I approached him.

"Hey, what if I had to be home by eleven?"

"Then you're mom better be picking you up at La Push."

I knew that _that_ wouldn't work. She told me to find a ride for a reason.

"Okay, never mind." And I turned to walk away. Then Edward did the unthinkable. He stopped me.

"Well, we have to bring Lauren Mallory back here at 10:15 so that her mom can pick her up. We can just drop you off when we drop her off."

"Maybe… "

"Where's your mom? Let me talk to her…"

"Umm, no. Let's not. I'll go ask her. You just… stay."

And I sprinted back to the lobby. Alice looked like she was about to pee herself as she watched me run back and forth between Edward and Renee. Mom looked bored when I got to her.

"So…?" she asked in monotone.

"Would you mind picking me up here at the school at 10:20?"

"I guess I can do that…"

"Thank you so much, Mom. Thank you."

"You're welcome. Be sure to call me when you get back here. I'll be shopping in the meantime."

"Oh, that reminds me…" I dug in my pocket for my phone and handed it to Mom. "It's dead. So it would just be a waste to keep with me. I'll use someone else's phone when I call. I promise."

"Okay. Be safe. I love you."

"I love you, too. Bye."

"Bye."

After kissing Mom on the cheek, I walked past Japer and Alice. I saw, out of the corner of my eye, Alice try to follow me in slight protest, but Jasper held her back. I made my way out back to Edward, Tanya, Lauren, and some freshman boy named Luke.

"Where do I sit?" Tanya asked.

"Honey, you sit up front," Luke told her.

So Lauren and Luke climbed in the back behind Tanya's seat. Edward looked at me.

"Bella, you can climb in over my seat."

I did as I was instructed and we left campus. Edward sped away at what could've been lightening speed. He blasted the radio on 95.5 and "Knock You Down" by Keri Hilson came on. Edward groaned, as if he was ready to change the station.

"Oh c'mon, Edward. You know you love this song!" Lauren teased.

Each of us smiled in amusement. This was the first time that I had ever heard this song before, so I didn't know the lyrics as well as Lauren and Tanya did. I watched as everyone eventually began to sing along. Lauren and Tanya would share knowing glances, as if they were having their own telepathic conversation. I knew they were thinking about Edward. After "Knock You Down" ended, some god awful rap song came on. It was one of those rap songs that no sane person can tolerate. It made me sick to my freakin' stomach. I honestly thought I might throw up. Then, to brighten my mood, I began to cramp. I was somewhat relieved when we pulled up to the beach. I was ready to get the hell out of there.

"You guys let Bella out on your side!" Edward called to Lauren and Luke as he walked to meet up with the others.

Once I got out, I began weaving through the crowd of drama kids to find a phone so that I could see what time it was. The girl who had the lead in the play had her phone out. I peeked over her shoulder to see the time. Her clock read 9:23. WTF?! I only had 45 minutes?! That couldn't be right! Edward was the kind of guy who wanted to have a good time for hours on end! He would never go for 45 freakin' minutes! I walked urgently back to the people I came here with and approached Lauren Mallory discreetly.

"Umm… it's about 9:30. How are we gonna get back to the school on time?"

Lauren looked at me like I had a dick growing out of my forehead. She looked at me like I was nuts. And that's when it hit me. She had no damn idea what the fuck I was talking about. She didn't have a clue. That's when I looked over at Edward, who was fondling Tanya. I resisted the urge to vomit.

"How are we gonna get back to the school by 10:15 if it's already 9:30?"

"I never said anything about 9:15."

"No, 10:15. _10_:15! You said you would have me and Lauren back to the school by 10:15!"

"I never said anything about 10:15. Who said anything about 10:15?"

"Edward, I have to be back to the school by 10:15 so that my mother can _pick me up_."

"Look, relax. I'll have you home by 4:00, I promise," he said casually. Then he looked over at Luke and Lauren, who seemed thoroughly confused. "Don't worry, you guys. She's just PMSing."

I was fucking speechless. I had no idea what to say. I couldn't believe what he was saying. And if I didn't know for a fact that I wasn't crazy, maybe I would've believed him when he denied saying anything about taking me back. It was _that_ believable. And I could guarantee that Luke and Lauren believed him. I decided not to fight with him or cause any sort of contention. I simply looked at the others.

"Can I use someone's phone? I need to call my mom," I said calmly.

They just looked at me as they had before. Edward, I saw, was digging in his pocket. He pulled out his phone.

"What's your mom's number?"

I turned back to the others.

"Does anyone else have a phone I can use?"

Edward rolled his eyes and handed me his phone.

"Thank you," I said. I took the phone and walked further down the beach. I dialed Renee's number and waited. _Please, please, please pick up, Mommy… _I waited for what seemed like ages. Then she picked up. _Thank God…_

"Hello?"

"Mom!"

"Bella?"

"Yeah. Could you come pick me up at La Push right now?"

"Sure, but why? Is something wrong?"

"No, we just got a flat tire and it's gonna take awhile before one of the seniors comes back with another one, so everyone who rode with Edward's mom is gonna have to find another ride. I'm tired anyway, so…"

"Of course, honey. I'll be there ASAP."

"Thanks."

"Okay, honey. Bye."

"Bye."

I went back to the crowd, found Edward, gave his phone back, and started trudging up the beach towards the streetlamps. I found one closest to the beach and waited. I had only spent ten minutes out in the freezing cold with no jacket, no phone, and hurt feelings when I spotted a red convertible pulling up. Alice and Jasper went past me to park and then walked back to stand with me.

"What are you doing?" Alice asked.

"Waiting for Renee."

"Why?"

"Because Edward isn't taking me back to the school."

"Why did he change his mind?"

"He didn't. He never intended to take me back at all. He lied."

"You don't know that…"

"You're right. I don't know that. I'm trying not to judge him here."

"What happened exactly?"

And I proceeded to tell Jasper and Alice everything that happened until Renee showed up. I was a little upset, but I tried not to show it. On the way home, I kept my head facing the window and I cried the whole time. While I lay in bed, I kept thinking about what he said and what he did. Why the hell did he lie like that? Was it because I almost didn't go? I mean, we were the only ones on that stage, no witnesses; it was the perfect time and place for him to lie. But why? Was it really that important to him that I go? But he had Tanya. He wouldn't need me. So why did he tell me a lie? Or better yet, a lie that changed me from going home to going with him. Was there something that I was missing? What was _Edward's_ incentive?


	7. I Looked Back

I left church an hour early for our final show. I was so sick of this play, I could scream. I didn't want to have to look at Edward again, but I could not judge him. I wasn't aware of what was going on in his head, so I had no right to jump to conclusions. How would I know if this had been just some sick game? I wouldn't. So when I walked into the building, I went up to Jessica Stanley to make it look like I actually knew people. When Edward walked in, I turned away, hoping that he wouldn't bitch me out. No such luck.

"Hey, what the hell happened to you last night?"

"What do you mean?" I asked casually.

"You just disappeared. I was looking for you, but I couldn't find you. I was like, 'Where'd she go?'"

"Are you serious? I used _your_ phone to call my mom. Surely you knew _why_?"

He only stood there with that deer-caught-in-the-headlights look.

"You don't remember anything about last night, do you?"

Edward's face remained the same. I sighed in exasperation and walked away. Luckily, he did not follow. What the hell was he about? I knew for a fact that he told me that he would have me back to the school by 10:15. I wasn't crazy. Those words left his mouth. However, there were no other witnesses on that stage to vouch for it. At least he looked for me. That shows he actually gives a damn about my whereabouts. But I was still bothered by the fact that he did what he did. He couldn't just pretend not to know.

On Tuesday, everyone 16 years old and older was giving blood. I wasn't. For obvious reasons. I stayed in the House with Alice. We sat there and talked about Jasper, which was making me go nuts inside. So I decided it was time to tell her.

"Okay, Alice, I need to fill you in."

"What's going on?"

"I should let you know that I have a crush on someone and I'm trying very hard to cover it up-"

"Do you have a crush on Edward?"

I felt my mouth fall open and my eyes grow wide. Had it _always_ been that obvious? "How did you know?!"

"The way you talk about him."

"How the hell do I talk about him?!"

"You tend to look up when you talk to him, like when we were in the bathrooms last week, talking about him and Tanya."

I knew I looked like a deer caught in headlights right about now. So Alice continued.

"When somebody likes someone, they tend to look up when they talk about them. But when they don't, they tend to look down or to the side."

How much was I missing? If there were all of these secret ways of telling if a girl likes a guy, I couldn't act any different around Edward than Alice did.

When I walked into drama on Friday, I immediately walked on stage to be approached by Edward. He lifted his hand to present a laminated paper craft that he must have made in art class or something. It was covered in beautiful swirls of color and designs. It was simply mesmerizing how creative it was, especially for something made by Edward Cullen. He shoved it into my arms.

"Here," he said, "play with it."

I looked down at the craft as he walked away, unsure of what it was that I was supposed to do with it. I followed Alice into the lobby to practice our scene, taking the craft with me. In the back of my mind, I knew I was taking a huge risk. If I was caught with his art work in my hands, someone was bound to find out my feelings for Edward. I don't really know how I came to that conclusion, but with a secret like mine… everything put me on edge. After half an hour of a balance between legitimate practice and trying to figure out what this thing was, Edward walked out of the bathroom, catching us red-handed with his craft. I stood up like I didn't see him at first. Then I turned and looked surprised at him.

"Hey! Umm… what are you supposed to do with this?" I asked, holding up his art.

Edward took it from my hands and immediately busted it over his knee. Alice and I gasped and covered our mouths in horror.

"That's what you're supposed to do with it," he said, looking up at me. "That's why I gave it to you."

I stood there, frozen. I was speechless. I knew I shouldn't have been, but I guess I saw his art work as something more beautiful than he did. But I couldn't let him know that. So I closed my mouth and followed him and Alice out to the classroom. The bell rang as we passed by the computers, so we went straight out the door. Alice pushed me in front of her, causing me to get right behind Edward in the line to leave the building. On our way out, he held the door open for me, which made my heart flutter a little. Then he went left and I went straight ahead. I stared out at the path in front of me. Chills ran up my spine. Then, once I hit the pavement, I made the biggest mistake anyone could make.

I looked back.

I did it. I looked back to where Edward was walking to the next building. That wouldn't have been so terrible… if only, half as second later, he hadn't looked back also. Even though we were so far away, we were close enough for me to tell that he was looking right at me. I was not about to make it obvious and whip my head forward again, so I just moved my eyes to stare at the building and not at him. Then gradually, I let my head drift away as it would if I was following someone else with my line of sight. My heart was pounding in my head. I just knew I had probably blown it. And what was worse was that it was Friday. That meant that I would have all damn weekend to dwell on what I had just done.


	8. Damn it, Seth!

Four days later, I was still worrying. I felt the cold sweat on my forehead as I walked to drama and I could hear Edward's footsteps behind me. I knew his footsteps by heart. It seemed strange, but Edward was a shuffler, so it was pretty clear to me when he was coming. He followed me into the theatre and immediately started a conversation with Embry, the best actor in the class. Embry turned to me.

"I'm getting my license today. I'm so nervous."

"Don't be nervous; you'll be fine."

Edward looked up.

"You're getting your license?" he asked.

"Hopefully…"

"Well, if you do, let me know. Because the day you get yours is the day I turn mine in 'cause I will run your ass over." Then he turned and pointed at me. "She knows."

When Embry turned to look at me, I nodded my head vigorously. It was true. Edward really would run his ass over. For the love of hell, he's like a stunt driver behind the wheel! But it's like an artist's driving……. so amazing. My mind drifted to that night he drove me home. The night I broke a huge rule. The night I received the most exhilarating ride of my life. Just remembering it froze me to death and the chills appeared once again.

Edward Cullen didn't speak to me at all during the next week and a half. We had absolutely no contact whatsoever. It was Friday night again and I was feeling so low. I needed my daily fill of Edward, especially on a Friday because I wouldn't see him until the next Monday. Homecoming was tomorrow and I was dateless. So I decided not to go. Instead, I spent half my night on Facebook looking at everyone's statuses about their plans for Homecoming and girls' photos of their dresses. I was jealous. Renee thought it would be nice to sit and watch The Proposal since Charlie was on a camping trip with Harry Clearwater, Billy, and Ben. I was about to fall asleep from boredom when I got a text message from Seth.

_S: "hey im at ur highschool"_

_ B: "wat 4?"_

_ S: "band thing"_

_ B: "awesome. Meet n e hot girls? lol"_

_ S: "there are only 4 girls i think r hot. One of them goes to forks high…"_

I knew right then where this was going. And I didn't like it. I mean, Set was only 13. That's a three- year difference. Seth was immature. He had once told all of his friends that he slept with me. I had… but in the _literal_ sense. One night over the summer, he came over to spend the night with Ben and it was 3:00 in the morning. I was already half-asleep in the only clear space on Ben's floor. Ben and Seth were in Ben's bed. Then my eyes shot open to the most disgusting sound in the world. Ben had just gassed Seth out of his bed. I instinctively moved all the way over, slamming myself into Ben's dresser so that Seth could sleep in the floor next to me… _without_ touching me. I made sure to position a body pillow between us even though I was still slammed up against the dresser and coiled up in a comforter. Then a couple of weeks later, his cousin Leah called me to tell me that she overheard Seth on the phone while he was telling his friends that he got lucky with Bella Swan. I was pissed, but I never mentioned it to him.

_B: "So who is it?"_

_ S: "i cant say… you know her…"_

_ B: "is it Jessica?"_

_ S: "think. u know this…"_

_ B: "well its not emily and it cant be rachel or rebecca either…"_

_ S: "ur thinking 2 hard"_

_ B: "who is it seth?"_

_ S: "the next one I send will tell u"_

_ B: "just say it"_

_ S: "ok its you. I know u don't like me or n e thing you like someone else. i know ur going 2 show this to other ppl but I had to u soon =,("_

I sat there for a few minutes. I didn't respond right away. I had that sneaking suspicion for so long, but… getting the actual confirmation… changes things. I felt sick. Sick because I didn't feel the same way and Seth's situation was so stereotypical. He just wasn't the kind of person you like in that way and I felt bad for it. He texted me again.

_ S: "u wanted 2 know so good night =,("_

_ B: "Wait! Wait!"_

_ S: "What?"_

_ B: "just chill 4 a sec. its not a big deal"_

_ S: "its fine im used to being rejected"_

_ B: "hey! if i ever hear you say that again i will never speak to you again! Besides do u have any idea how many times I've been rejected? 13 times. true story" _Lie.

_ S: "21 and i can name them all" _

_ B: "do it"_

_ S: "21. no joke"_

_ B: "i didn't think u could"_

_ S: "nvm. i gtg"_

_ B: "ok goodnight"_

I felt sick to my stomach still. Seth Clearwater was only 13. A child. He didn't know what he wants. So I kissed Renee goodnight and headed for the shower. When I got in, I immediately sank into the tub and closed my eyes, praying that this feeling would go away. But it never did. So I cried myself to sleep.

When I woke up the next morning, my face was paler than normal and very puffy. I felt sick all over again. I curled up into a ball under my sheets and closed my eyes again. After a little while, Renee tapped on my door and came in. I looked up at her.

"What's wrong with you? You look terrible."

"Seth…" and I proceeded to explain my predicament to her.

"Wow…" she said when I finished, "looks like you're in a bit of a pickle…"

"Yeah…"

"Well, let's go to the mall."

"What the hell for?!"

"I don't know. The boys are still gone."

We got home from the mall at about 7:00 that night. I went to my room, bored as hell. I laid on my bed for an hour. I glanced over at my clock. 8:00.

"Okay," I said to myself, getting off my bed, "let's go to Homecoming."


	9. No Shame in Grinding

I rushed into the kitchen where Renee was making dinner. She looked up at me from the stove.

"Welcome," she said.

"I need you to drive me to Homecoming."

"Yes!" she exclaimed. "I knew you wouldn't stay in tonight. When does it start?"

"About five minutes ago. But it's good to be late."

"Well, duh. Go find a dress and fix your face and hair. You need to be there by 8:30."

I nodded frantically and rushed to get ready, tripping over every little thing in my floor. I grabbed my silk blue dress that flowed down low in the front and back and flowed up high at the sides. It was spaghetti-strapped, so I grabbed a white cover-up and put it on, just to get me out of the house. I did what I could with my hair and did a pretty good job with my make-up, so I grabbed my handbag and sandals and headed out the door with Renee.

"So there's a boy," she announced.

I whipped my head around to look at her. _What the hell?!_

"Yup," she said. "I know."

"I have no idea what you're talking about."

"As if! It's either Mike or Edward, that much I know."

"It's Edward," I told her, defeated.

"I knew it. So what does he look like?"

"Go to my room and find last year's yearbook. Look up Edward Cullen. But I'm warning you now. He's not photogenic _at all_."

Renee smiled.

When we pulled up to the school, Renee let me out and I got in line for an at-the-door ticket. I walked the red carpet alone and smiled stupidly for the camera waiting for me at the end. As I entered the gym, Eric Yorkie was the first person I saw. Not my person of choice, but hey, at least I knew the freak.

"Hey, have you seen Alice anywhere?"

"Nope. Who'd you come with?"

"No one. I came alone."

"Oh. Too bad."

_Not on your life, kid._ "Yeah, well… I better go find her."

I went searching for Alice and Jasper, who had already said they would be here. I looked for about ten minutes before I ran into Jessica, who showed me where I could hide my handbag and my uncomfortable sandals. At last, I did find them, standing around with Quil and some other drama kids… including Edward Cullen.

"Oh my heck! You came!" Alice screeched.

I immediately looked around, hoping that Alice didn't draw attention to us, although the music was blaring from the speakers. Most of the school was grinding. I glanced over at Jasper. He looked completely and utterly disgusted by it. I looked at Quil, expecting him to be enjoying himself, but he looked terribly upset. I leaned in to Alice.

"What the hell's wrong with Quil?"

"His date ditched him. She said she needed air, but then we saw her grinding with three other guys at one time."

"Aw man…"

"Do you think you step in?"

"What?"

"Do you think you could replace her? Be his dance partner?"

"I could try… but I kinda suck at dancing."

"Sacrifice!"

"Okay, okay… geez."

Alice smiled sweetly in return and turned her attention back to Quil, who sighed.

"I think I need a drink…"

We watched as Quil left. He stopped at the double doors leading to outside. Just as I was about to turn away, I spotted Edward approaching him. _Perfect!_ I thought. This was a perfect opportunity to exercise my duties as Quil's new date and get to talk to Edward! I made my way towards them. When I saw Edward turn his head to look at me, I yelled Quil's name to emphasize my reason for coming anywhere near him. Then he turned and walked away without saying anything more to Quil. Now I felt like shit. But I knew I still needed to keep up the role playing so as to not arouse suspicions in Quil.

"You wanna dance? C'mon, dance with us."

I don't really feel like it…"

The others came and tried as well, but they failed also. So we all followed Quil to where there were tables and chairs set up and each got cups of ginger ale. I kinda felt like shit for being so useless, but I didn't know Quil. How the hell was I supposed to replace his original dance partner? So I just sort of sat there with the others, in a circle around Quil. After a little while, Alice whispered to me.

"I don't think we'll be getting him to do anything at this point except sulk, so you're released from your duties."

"I'm sorry I couldn't help."

"You tried. That's all that matters. Go find Edward." She smiled encouragingly at me.

Seeing that smile on her face, I didn't have the heart to tell her that it was already a mission failed. Edward didn't _not_ notice me; he actually tried to avoid me. But I got up and left anyway. I looked around, trying to find someone I knew, even if it was Jessica Stanley. A slow song started and I silently praised the DJ. That meant that most everyone would start pairing off to slow-dance, making it easier for me to weave through the crowd in my search for someone I knew. As I high-tailed it towards the back of the gym, I gave little notice to a couple who I passed by. I noticed enough to tell that the girl was pretty, strawberry-blonde, and model-bodied. And the boy was… not who the boy should be… if I was seeing the right girl!

I immediately whipped around and stared at the dancing couple. The girl was almost undoubtedly Tanya. I was 98% sure. But the boy definitely wasn't Edward. Of that, I was 100% sure! In fact, I could tell straight away that he was a fucking _freshman_! The sight was sickening. These two were dancing extremely close, almost like lovers. Both of them were fondling each other with their eyes closed, as though they were at great peace. Tanya- if this girl was Tanya- rested her head on this boy's shoulder. She looked so calm and peaceful and content. And the boy looked the same as he gently placed the side of his head against her hair.

I was on the verge of tears. I was tempted to run off immediately and tell Edward the catastrophe I had witnessed. But I knew I couldn't jump to conclusions. What if it wasn't really Tanya? And even if it was, who's to say they didn't come here with other people? So I waited through the duration of the song, occasionally glancing back discreetly to see if there was ever a change in their positions. There wasn't. When the song ended, I turned to assess the situation. I almost gagged when I saw them hugging tightly and for a long ass time. They seemed extremely close. A little too close… assuming that she was Tanya. Once they released each other, the girl went passed the boy and walked up to the bleachers where a pile of purses were. She picked one up and started digging through it. When she turned around, I got a clear view of her face. It was undoubtedly, positively Tanya Denali. When she saw me, her face lit up in delight. I smiled in return as I approached her.

"Hey!" she exclaimed excitedly as she rushed up and hugged me.

"Hey!"

"Oh my gosh, your dress is beautiful!"

"Thanks! Yours is amazing, too! Where'd you get it?"

"Oh, I got it at Macy's."

"Well, it's gorgeous." I paused, and then added casually, "So who'd you come with?"

"Oh, I came with Edward." She paused. "I guess I better go find him…"

_You better… before _I_ do._ "Okay! I'll see you later!"

"Bye!"

And Tanya walked away. I didn't know what to think. There was no way I could tell Edward about this. I still didn't have a confirmation of what it was that I really saw and I didn't wanna put Edward through any pain if I didn't have to. Even if he was kinda evil, he was also sorta sweet at times. And he had been my friend for over a year. He didn't deserve to get hurt… even if he was a player, I didn't want to see him hurt. Maybe I had the whole thing wrong. Being sexually active in relationships didn't make you a player. Whoring around with several girls when you're not with any of them _is_. If what I saw was right, then _Tanya_ was the guilty one in the relationship. All that time I wanted to warn her of the evils of Edward Cullen… I wish I had warned Edward of the evils of Tanya Denali. But maybe it wasn't my place to warn anyone of anything. Maybe I should just stay out it.

I meandered my way to the middle of the back of the dance floor. I stood there stupidly, like the loner I was. It was only after ten minutes that I realized that Edward had been sitting in one of the chairs around the tables behind me. For the next ten minutes, I worked really hard to make sure I stayed in his line of sight, hoping that he would see my availability and come to talk to me. When I looked to my right, I saw Tanya and Lauren Mallory walk out one of the doors. I glanced at Edward. He was looking at her, but then he turned away. He looked bothered and troubled. Maybe even angry. Then when I looked again, he was gone. I looked around for him and eventually found him with Tanya. They were in the middle of one of the world's longest hugs. I could see Edward's face and he looked like he was trying to comfort her. Then Alice came up to me.

"Hey, Quil isn't feeling too hot, so we're leaving. The dance sucks anyway."

"I know. It's been completely retarded."

"You want us to take you home?"

"No, Jessica's gonna give me a lift home. I'm gonna wait it out. What time is it?"

"10:45. Fifteen minutes left."

"Quil must be pretty damn miserable."

"He is. So we're gonna go…"

"Okay," I said, hugging her, "don't let Jasper go over 90 tonight. Charlie's really cracking the whip tonight around here."

"Because of the dance?"

"Yup."

"Okay, well, I'll keep him under control. _You_ be safe."

"I will. Good night."

"Good night."

Then she hugged me again and left with Jasper and Quil. I watched as they all walked out the door. Now I was definitely a loner. I didn't know where Jessica was, so there was no way I was leaving early. But I looked around anyway, hoping to find someone, but I stayed stationary. It was 10:55. I was ready to walk away and wait outside for Jessica when I was stopped from even the thought. I watched as a group of freshman came my way at a speed that made me think that I was in trouble. They were led by Edward and Tanya. When they approached me, they circled around me. Tanya had two friends with her, Lauren Mallory and a blonde named Chelsea. Chelsea had a date with her. I really hoped this wasn't an intervention where I was supposed to get my ass kicked my three blondies. I really wasn't in the mood for this. I could beat the living shit out of any of them, no problem. But I didn't think it was the best idea, seeing as how the cops had already escorted two drunken girls from the dance. I didn't need to be escorted out, too. Edward was the first to speak.

"You ready for a grinding?"

My heart stopped. "With who?"

"All of us. You looked bored, so we came to dance with you."

"I w_as_ bored."

And before I knew it, I was dancing like I never had before. I was moving my hips in ways that I never did in public. I was moving to the music. And I knew why. I was in my comfort zone; Edward was close to me and I didn't feel ashamed of moving the way I was. Tanya was dancing right in front of me, facing me. There was only a foot of distance between us. Then Edward was facing _us_. As we moved, the music consumed and took over. Then all of a sudden, I felt the most surprising touch. I turned slightly to the left, not even looking at Edward, who had his right arm around my waist and his left arm around Tanya's. I closed my eyes for only a moment, taking everything in. I glanced over to my right. Lauren, Chelsea, and Chelsea's boyfriend were all standing there, like they had no idea what to do as they watched us dance.

The adrenaline took over again and I felt so high. I was so comfortable with him. Even with Tanya there, everything felt so right. I savored those last five minutes of the dance, praying that they would stretch. But they didn't. The clock chimed 11:00 and the music stopped. The small crowd around me began to disperse slowly. Edward looked at Tanya.

"Are you ready to go? We need to leave…"

"Yeah, okay, just a sec…" and Tanya turned around to hug me as everyone else turned to leave. Edward turned around and saw Tanya doing so, and he walked over to me to do the same.

"I'm all sweaty…"

"It doesn't matter," I told him. And he hugged me to him. My heart skipped a beat.

"Later," he said as he walked away with Tanya and the others. When they couldn't see me anymore, I spun around in a circle. The smile on my face could have lit up the whole world. I could still feel the tingling that stretched from my right side across my lower back where Edward's arm and hand had been. Just then, Jessica came up to me as I was holding my head in my hands.

"What the hell's wrong with you?" she asked.

"This has been the best night of my life."

"Spill!"

"Not here. Let's wait until there aren't any witnesses around."

"Damn, then this better be good."

So I took Jessica's hand and pulled her outside. It was fucking freezing. I carried my sandals in one hand and Jessica's hand in the other. I looked around to make sure that Edward, Tanya, or any of the others weren't anywhere nearby. I scanned the parking lot to see Edward's Volvo parked in its usual spot, the extended parking stretch behind the drama building. Usually, Mr. Banner, the drama tech teacher, parked his truck in the first half of the stretch and Edward pull in after him. But that was during the play. Edward didn't have a parking pass, so he didn't have a proper, legitimate parking spot. So he was still here. I checked again for them again, but I still didn't see them. Shaking my head, I turned to Jessica.

"Let's wait until your mom shows up before I tell you."

"Who exactly are you trying to avoid overhearing you?"

"The subject of the matter at hand."

"I doubt anyone cares anyway. You've got nothing to worry about. Just tell me now."

"No way in hell. You may trust everyone around, but not me. I don't trust. Period."

"Whatever. Let's just get out of here."

"That depends on when your mother decides to show up."

"Well, she better hurry. I'm freezing my ass off out here!"

We stood there for about fifteen minutes, waiting for Mrs. Stanley. When she finally did show up, Jessica and I hurriedly climbed into the backseat of the car.

"Okay," Jessica said, "now spill."

I told Jessica the story of my magical night at Homecoming. At the end, she raised her eyebrows at me. The look she gave me was one that told me that she thought I wasn't in a good place.

"You're not in a good place, Bella."

"What the fuck does that mean?"

"It means that you're getting too involved."

"In what exactly?"

"This whole Edward thing. I mean, you're probably not gonna like hearing this, but…"

"What?"

"From what you told me, it sounds like he was getting you and Tanya next to each other for the purpose of comparing the two of you."

"What?! No way. That's ridiculous on so many different levels. There's no way he would do that. Tanya's near-perfect!"

"And I don't think this is the first time this has happened. I mean, think back to La Push a few weeks ago. What the fuck was that about? It's pretty clear that he lied that night. Don't you think he lied to you for a reason? What if he stopped you from leaving with your mom because he _wanted_ you to go with them?"

"There's no way. Why would he need me there when he's got Tanya?"

"I have no idea. Maybe he's beginning to see something in you that he didn't see last year in your Spanish class."

"Bullshit."

"Maybe not."

"There's just no way, Jess. Tanya is beautiful. Absolutely gorgeous. There is absolutely no way that he would even contemplate comparing her to _me_. That would be counterproductive."

"Whatever you say…"

"You think I'm wrong?"

"Yes."

I sighed. "Then what do I do about it?"

"Keep an eye out. Pay attention to the way he touches you and acts around you. If it seems suspicious… I don't know. Then maybe you have something."

Throughout the ride home, I thought about what Jessica said. Was she right? Why _did_ Edward lie to me at La Push? I had been the only person on that stage when Edward told me that Lauren had to be at the school by 10:15 as I tried to walk away from his ride offer. He didn't tell me about that straight off; he only said that after he told me that he wouldn't get me home by 11:00. Then as I turned to walk away, _that's_ when he fed me that Lauren story, which was a lie. No questions asked. So now what I'm wondering is… _why_ did he lie? What was his incentive? His motivation? His intentions? None of it made sense. It wasn't like I could just ask him. Hell, if I did that, then he'd definitely know that I like him.

When I got in the house, I immediately went to the living room where Renee and Charlie were waiting up. I sat down in the empty armchair with a million dollar smile on my face. Charlie looked up at me from his paper and Renee from her book. They eyed me from over the rims of their glasses.

"I'm guessing it was good?" Charlie guessed.

My smile grew bigger and Renee smiled as well, knowing exactly what I was thinking.

"You danced with him, didn't you?"

I nodded, biting my lip and glancing at Charlie.

"You danced with Edward?" he asked.

I nodded again.

"You weren't grinding with him, were you?" He eyed me suspiciously.

"Dad, that's so gross." I rolled my eyes. He smirked at me and turned back to his paper. "So how did you dance, exactly?"

"Slow dancing. It was nice." It was a small lie. The way I was dancing with Edward was more on the grinding side of Homecoming dancing, but what Charlie and Renee didn't know wouldn't hurt them. Besides, it wasn't really grinding…

"You look absolutely flushed."

"Mom, I can't breathe! It was only in the last five minutes of the whole dance! And he came up to me with all of them… it was… it was… AMAZING!"

Renee laughed.

"Well, I'm glad you went. You needed tonight. Now you need sleep. It's 11:30. Go to bed."

I nodded, still smiling. And I knew there was blush stained on my cheeks from the blow of the events of the night. I walked upstairs and when I got up there, I was suddenly startled by two boys that I almost tripped over. I gasped in surprise and my eyes focused. Before me were Ben and Seth, crawling on the floor. They both stood up and the look on Seth's face told me louder than anything that they had been eavesdropping on my conversation with Renee and Charlie. He looked at me coldly. I could see the hurt behind his eyes. It killed me.

"Seth…"

"I don't know who he is or what he's like… but I hope you know what you're doing."

"Seth, it's not like that-"

"Don't patronize me, Bella. I hate it when you do that."

"Seth, I-"

"Don't." And he walked away from me.

I sighed heavily and closed my eyes. I pinched the bridge of my nose and I went straight to bed in my dress. I didn't sleep well, knowing that Seth was only across the hall with my brother. I could just visualize Seth sitting there with his mad face, pouting that he couldn't have what he wanted. I felt bad. Truly, I did. But I couldn't let him think that he had a chance when he didn't. I wanted to shake him by the shoulders and scream at him for being so juvenile and immature, but I kept inside. I knew it wouldn't do any good.


	10. Was He PLAYING ME?

That Friday, six days after Homecoming, I was sitting in the back of the classroom with no one. Alice was sick and so was Miss Kay, so the acting class and the tech class merged in the classroom and turned on The Wizard of Oz. I sat alone, dying inside. Edward wasn't looking at me or acknowledging that I even existed. He hadn't all week. He didn't look at me, talk to me, or touch me all damn week. And I hated it. It worried me. Did I do something wrong? Did he just get sick of me? Are we not friends anymore? All these thoughts ran through my mind at once. It made me sick to think about it. I scanned over Homecoming in my head, trying to find where I may have made a mistake. I could find nothing. _Great_, I thought. It's over. _He either knows and can't face me or he's just done with me_. I began to panic inside. It has been exactly one month since the night he took me home. That memory flooded in my head. What if I had to give up all of everything that we'd done? Even though there wasn't that much, each moment was big enough to break my heart.

I glanced over to where Edward was. He was in the work area with Mr. Banner and Eric Yorkie, putting disassembling the set from the play in preparation for the spring musical. He looked so serious. I was jealous of him. He was amazing and smart and he knew when there was a time to be serious and a time to screw around. He was bad boy, but he had every form of authority convinced of otherwise. He loved speeding, having sex, cursing, and being fucking hilarious. I, on the other hand, was rarely ever outspoken or outgoing, vowed abstinence until marriage, naturally followed the laws of the road, and was quiet. I was really nice and tried to be especially nice to Edward. He had this way of appearing so grown-up and mature when facing adults. I mean, he really _was_ grown-up and mature, but there was this entire other side of him that was the complete opposite.

I heard the door open at the front of the classroom and looked up to see Edward leave. _Damn it_, I thought. _It's_ _Friday and he hasn't spoken to me since Saturday night. What the hell?_ My heart sank. There was no way that I could recover from an entire week with no attention from Edward. I hated days like this, when Edward and I wouldn't talk or associate with each other. I _would_ go up to him and initiate conversation, but I feared that I would annoy him. And if I did it enough times, then he'd know my feelings. And there was no way that I could let that happen. I had already decided. No way, no how. I had thought about what it would be like without Edward Cullen and I knew right then and there that I couldn't do it. I couldn't live that life.

Just then, the PA system clicked.

"Teachers and students, we are now under a code yellow lockdown."

I saw that glimmer of hope and looked at the door, waiting for Edward to come back in. But he didn't. Then Mr. Banner stuck his head outside. I couldn't hear what he was saying, but my face lit up when Edward came back through the door with Eric in tow. I kept my eyes on the screen and didn't look at Edward. But from the corner of my eye, I watched as he walked all the way to the back of the room and took a straight-shot across towards Miss Kay's office. I should've seen it coming. But after the whole week of no contact, it surprised me when Edward passed behind me and, on his way, reached down and tickled my side and kept walking without looking back. I hid a smile, got out my journal, and began to write. First, I wrote about what had just happened, then I vented about what Jessica said after Homecoming; the topic still bothered me. What was going on?

_Mmm, whatcha say, Mmm, that you only meant well,_

_ Well, of course you did;_

_ Mmm, whatcha say, Mmm, that it's all for the best,_

_ Of course it is._

He offered me the ride to La Push without even listening for Tanya's response. Even after Tanya's behavior three nights before, he still had the nerve. Why would he jeopardize his soon-to-be relationship by being willing to induce Tanya's temper to give me a fucking ride?

_I was so wrong for so long,_

_ Only tryin' to please myself;_

_ Girl, I was caught up in her lust,_

_ When I don't really want no one else._

Then when I told him that I needed to be home by 11:00, he wasn't willing. But when I said never mind and began to walk away, he stopped me with a story about Lauren needing to be at the school by 10:15. That should have been my _first_ clue. Why the hell would he say that he wouldn't take me home at 11:00, but then return with an offer for 45 minutes earlier when I tried to decline the offer?

_I know I shoulda treated you better,_

_ But me and you were meant to last forever;_

_ So let me in, give me another chance,_

_ To really be your man._

Then when we get to La Push, he denies ever saying shit to me? We were in front of witnesses, so I can understand why he denied it when I brought it up. I had been the only witness to his story and that's why he got away with telling it. But what did he think would happen when I found out that he had lied? That I would be stuck there with him with no way out? Hell no! I did the smart thing, called my mother, and got the fuck out of there!

_'Cause when the roof caved in and the truth came out,_

_ I just didn't know what to do;_

_ But when I become a star, we'll be livin' so large,_

_ I'll do anything for you._

Edward is no idiot. He's much smarter than that. In fact, he's as smart as me when it comes to pulling stupid stunts like that. You have to cover every loop hole, smooth over every angle. You have to make sure that, no matter what might happen, you won't get caught. But this… this was a sloppy job. There were so many holes and things that didn't add up right off the bat. Like the time difference between when I was expected home and when he was "suddenly willing to get me home." He clearly didn't think this through before he did this.

This stunt he pulled… it was an impulsive, last second decision. The way this played out reminded me of my scheme to get Edward to give me a ride home. It was an impulsive, last minute decision that left so many open loop holes and opportunities for disaster. But at least what I said added up. Still, it was impulsive. But my reason for not meticulously creating a game plan was because it was a snap decision. At that moment, I didn't care about the consequences or what could happen. I was only thinking about being with him right then at that moment. I didn't care about what I was supposed to do when we got to my house. Thank God we have the warehouse…

Is that what was wrong with him? Is that why he did this? Is that why his strategy sucked dick? But then there was Homecoming. He had his arms around two completely different girls at the same time and he was dancing with them both. Was he really comparing us to each other like Jessica said? Was he trying to make Tanya jealous? Or was he doing the one thing that would completely define what I believed he was… was he playing me?

_Mmm, whatcha say, Mmm, that you only meant well,_

_ Well, of course you did;_

_ Mmm, whatcha say, Mmm, that it's all for the best,_

_Of course it is;_

_Mmm, whatcha say, Wh-wh-wh-wh-what did she say?_


	11. Two Truths and No Lie?

"What if Jessica's right?"

I looked up at Alice. We were trick-or-treating with the eight loves of my life, Weber kids. Angela Weber, the oldest, was with us. She was always out, so that made me the official babysitter of the eight younger kids. After Angela was 13-year-old Bronwyn, 10-year-old Heather, 8-year-old Ryan, 6-year-old twins Michael and Connor, 4-year-old Livvie, 2-year-old Rose, and 6-month-old Sunny.

"About what?

"About Edward, Bella. I mean, not just about the La Push thing, but _everything_. I'm talking about all those times he asked you when you were to turn 16 and constant flirting and the very suspicious conversation you had with him in the Volvo about him and Tanya. That doesn't seem strange to you?"

"Of course it does!"

"Then tell me, Bella. Why are you in complete denial that Edward just might like you?"

"Because. Look at Tanya, then look at me. He's going out with Tanya. If he chose me over her, he would be putting himself through a total downgrade. No guy with a brain would do that."

"Oh, stop it. You're beautiful."

"Not to him."

"Who cares? Besides, have you asked if you are?"

"No. And I'm not going to."

"Then there you go. But I'm telling you. Something's off with Edward. The shit he's done to you… it just doesn't make sense. And the things he says don't add up. I mean, he told you that Tanya was the one who wanted to be in a relationship, but he told me the exact opposite and that he had asked her a million times to go out with him. And didn't you say he didn't even answer the question when you asked him if he wanted to be with her?"

"Yes, that's what I said."

"Now, the only reason I can come up with for someone to do that is trying to avoid saying yes or no. If it had been you in the driver's seat taking Edward home, would you say that you'd do the same thing?"

"I suppose…"

"Then we should confront him!"

"Like fuck we are! Are you crazy?"

"That's a stupid question," Angela said.

"Isn't though?" I agreed. "Look, there's something not right about this. I know that. But I highly doubt that it's him liking me."

"Well, Edward is a very confused little boy. You never know."

"You're right. There's no way to be sure unless we ask him. But there's no way in hell that we're doing that. It's not an option. He can never know my feelings, you guys."

Alice and Angela both nodded.

"Okay, I don't know about you guys, but I need to get out of here. It's gonna start raining soon and I really don't wanna be here when it does."

"Okay, well, we'll see you, Bells. Please keep in mind what I said."

"I will."

I turned around and headed home after kissing the kids goodbye. I immediately went upstairs when I got home and logged onto Facebook. I went straight to Tanya's page. I scrolled down to where I saw a little red heart that was labeled, "Tanya Denali is in a relationship." Son of a bitch. There were several comments between Tanya and some freshman girl named Claire, who I didn't know.

_Claire: "OMG! Is it that guy whos always in r drama class and brought u the skittles?"_

_ Tanya: "Ya his names Edward Cullen."_

_ Claire: "how long have u guys been going out?"_

_ Tanya: "officially a week but its been more like 3. He had to ask me like 4 times b4 I finally said yes. Haha I love him."_

Holy hell… No. Fucking. Way. I couldn't believe what I was seeing. So he was telling Alice the truth too?! What the fuck?! Now I was _really_ confused! How the hell could two stories be polar opposites of each other AND be true? Now things _really_ didn't add up. But it couldn't be right. I must have fucked up somewhere. I scanned my memory and my journal for any clues I may have missed… nope. I wasn't crazy. I remembered it all the same. When he was with me, he had implied that he didn't want the relationship with Tanya as much as she did. But with Alice, he implied that he was head-over-heels for her. And both stories have extremely sufficient evidence as the solid truth. As far as I could see, I was dealing with two truths. But the thing was… he chose which girl to tell which truth. _That_ was the real matter at hand. And I fully expected to get to the bottom of it.

A week and a half later, I was falling asleep during drama. We were back in the House, listening to Miss Kay rant about the class one-act that we would be doing. That made more drowsy than anything, no lie. When she finally let us go, I followed Alice into the classroom. We ran into Edward on the way and we all started talking. It was the first time that he had actually talked to both of us together. It had usually only been me.

After mindless small talk…

Edward looked at Alice, who was sitting dowsily in a chair, and reached his arms down to her like he wanted a hug. He turned his head to me. "I'm gonna maker _her_ get up."

I smiled as Alice lifted herself up off her chair and hugged Edward. What I felt wasn't jealousy. It was longing. I knew he cared about me too, but I wanted him to hug me. And as if on cue, he stretched his arms out to me.

"You wanna hug?" he asked.

I smiled and submitted myself to him in a hug.

"Damn, you smell good!" Alice exclaimed.

"He always smells good," I said.

Then while Alice and Edward made more mindless small talk, I began thinking about what had just happened. Yes, I had just received my third hug from Edward, but he had _asked_ me first. Why would he ask? I shook my head and tried to lose the thought that I was analyzing. It wasn't that big of a deal, so I just let it go.

Two days later, I walked to my first period class. I passed by Edward and Tanya, who were standing in front of her first period class, hugging tightly. As I looked back, I could've sworn that I saw Edward looking over Tanya's shoulder at me. I just turned my head and kept moving, trying to maintain composure.

When I got to drama, he wasn't there. It turned out that he had skipped. As I walked to my next class, I passed by him as he came from where Tanya's third period was. I shook my head and kept walking. This was driving me out of my mind. More than it was supposed to. I knew for a fact that I wasn't in love with Edward Cullen, but it whatever it was… it was becoming a little more than I could handle.


	12. James Monroe

On Saturday, Charlie woke me up that morning by knocking on my door. He opened it when I didn't answer.

"Bells?"

I moaned in response.

"I'm running over to Alec Monroe's."

I shot up in bed. "Wait, what?"

"Alec Monroe's. James's father. I thought you might wanna go see James."

"I'll be ready in ten minutes!"

"Okay…" and Charlie left me to my business, which I took very seriously. I ran a brush through my hair very carefully and brushed my teeth extremely well, as usual. James Monroe was a boy that I've known since I was four. He was six months older than me and I hadn't seen him since his eighth birthday party. I used to have the biggest crush on him when I was little. But my sudden strong desire to see him had nothing to with that. But it had everything to do with the thrill of seeing someone you hadn't seen in ten years. When I finished grooming myself in every way except make-up, I ran downstairs in the cutest casual outfit I had.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa! I don't think so!" Renee said as I made run for the door.

"What?"

"Charlie can wait ten more minutes. Let's put some make-up on that face." She flashed me a knowing glance.

"It's like you know everything."

"Of course I do."

After the make-up had been applied perfectly, I ran out to Charlie's cruiser and jumped into the passenger's seat. We had a silent drive there. When we pulled up to that familiar house with the weeping willow tree out front, my heart filled with that familiarity. It was so overwhelming. I got out of the cruiser to see that familiar blonde-headed troublemaker across the yard next that old trampoline. I smiled as I walked towards him. His face lit up into that grin I remembered so well. He ran toward me and I almost turned the other way and started running like I would have a decade ago. But I didn't. I continued forward until I was in his embrace. It didn't compare to hugging Edward, but it was enough.

"Where the hell have you been, girl? God, I missed you so much!"

"I know, I know! I missed you, too!"

"Goosebumps movies just aren't the same without you getting scared like you used to," he teased.

I slapped his arm playfully.

"Oh, please! Don't worry; I haven't let that hobby die. I've been watching them."

"Good. Then maybe we can move on from them together. You know… to _scarier_ stuff." He laughed. And I did the same. We spent the whole day jumping on the trampoline like we always used to and talking about the last ten years of our lives. It felt like I had only been there an hour instead of the entire day. But before I knew it, the sun was setting and Charlie walked out of the office.

"Bella, you got ten minutes!"

"Good," James said, "then we better make them count." And he took me by the hand and pulled me over behind the weeping willow.

"What are we doing?"

"I need to ask you something."

"Okay…"

"I know it's been ten years and all, but the last time you left, I never got to say goodbye. And I don't just wanna say goodbye this time. I wanna know that it won't be another ten years before you come back. Would you be my girl? Just like you used to be?"

"You mean your _girlfriend_?" I asked smiling.

"Yes." He began to blush.

I took both of his hands in my own, forgetting about the boy that had been on my mind for the last month and a half. I could hardly remember his name at that moment.

"How could I say no?"

He smiled that dimpled smile and I couldn't keep from smiling back even if I tried.

That following Monday, I went straight to lunchroom. I went there every morning before school with Alice, Jasper, and Quil. I was sitting at the table with my journal opened in front of me, writing my freakin' heart out. Just then, Quil walked in with the saddest look on his face. I knew something was wrong.

"I feel so bad for Jasper…"

My eyes widened because, somehow, I just knew what was going on right at this very moment. And my heart cracked.

"No. Please, Quil. Tell me he's not…"

"He is. He's breaking up with Alice right now."

I closed my eyes and set my forehead on the table.

"No… he can't do that to her! Did he say anything?"

"Only that he didn't wanna do it."

"So why is he? I will never understand that about you men! You do things you don't wanna do and then you say it's for our own good? What the fuck is the matter with all of you?!"

"I don't know, Bella. I've been asking myself that question since I got to high school. I don't know what to tell you to make this right."

"Well, even if you tried, don't make it right for me. Make it right for Alice. She's so in love with Jasper. And she doesn't deserve this."

"I understand. I really do."

I nodded and took Quil's hand as we waited for someone, anyone who could know what was going on. Several times, the doors would open and we would all turn around, hoping that it was either Jasper or Alice. I wanted things to be made right and I felt like the only way for that to happen would be if I got to talk to Jasper myself, convince him to fix this. It wasn't fair. I had just gotten a boyfriend two days before and now my best friend was without hers. And she was _in love_ with hers. I felt sick again.

Just then, the doors opened again and Jasper and Alice walked in… together. Looking at Alice, I began to question if they actually went through with the break-up. Alice looked unphased, like nothing had happened. But as I looked at Jasper, I could see that there was something very wrong. He looked dead inside. The bell rang and all of us just sat there. I stood up with Alice, who still looked like her normal self. She seemed happy, but _calm_. I was still skeptical as I walked out with her, glancing back to all the boys we were leaving behind. As we walked out the door, I looked back one last time. All the boys immediately huddled together. I turned to Alice.

"What the fuck just happened?"

"You mean besides the fact that Jasper just broke up with me?"

I closed my eyes, still not wanting to believe it. "And you're okay?"

As I said that, we passed by another set of doors leading into the lunchroom. I peeked inside at the boys. All of them were crying, which broke my heart in two. Alice didn't see it. _Just as well_, I thought.

"I'm okay, actually. I saw it coming. I don't really know how to explain it, but…"

"You don't have to explain it. No one expects anything from you right now."

"I know. I guess I'm still trying to wrap my head around it. You know, it was less of him breaking up with me and more like a mutual agreement not to be together anymore. It was like when your parents got back together… just the opposite…"

I let out a small laugh. "But why?"

"I really don't know, Bella. But somehow, I know it's right."

"If you say so…"

"Bella, you're gonna be late."

"Alice, if you think I actually give a fuck right now, you're mentally retarded."

"That's an understatement."

"I love you, Alice. I really do. And I know that Jasper does, too. No matter what."

She smiled. "I can't cry, Bella. Is that wrong?"

"No. God, no." I hugged her tightly as the late bell rang.

"You better get to class."

"You first."


	13. Pressure

I dreaded going to drama. It had nothing to do with Edward, but everything to do with Alice. It wasn't that I didn't want to see her; I just didn't want to see her sad. It was one of the worst things in the world. I made my way through the classroom and into the House where Alice already sat, looking up at the ceiling. My face fell and I walked to her in defeat. I sat down next to her. Miss Kay had given us free reign for the day, so most of the acting class headed out to the lobby where they could find a radio.

"How are you feeling?"

She sighed. "As good as can be expected."

"I figured as much…"

"Don't worry, though. I'm gonna get through this just fine. Life goes on."

I smiled and nodded, playing along. I knew she really didn't mean what she was saying; she was trying to convince herself of that. She would break soon. I just hoped that I was there when she did. No one else would know what to do. Hell, _I_ didn't even know what to do, but I knew I knew better than anyone else. I glanced to my right to see Edward walking across the stage toward the ladder that led up to the catwalk, which stretched around the perimeter of the ceiling. I knew that I would have to start multi-tasking. I listened to and watched Alice intently while I kept that extra ear and peripheral vision out for Edward.

"It's just that… eight months, Bella! Eight fucking months down the drain! He threw it all away and I can never get that back!"

"I know, Alice. I know," I assured her, grabbing her knee. "And I promise you, he _will_ regret it."

She looked up at me. "What are you gonna do?"

"_I'm_ not gonna do anything. But Jasper will. I know that he loves you still and he will suffer for letting you go. He's doing this to himself."

"But what he doesn't know is that he's doing it to me, too."

"Yes, Alice. He does. And that's what's hurting him the most."

She nodded in skeptical understanding. I looked upwards discreetly, careful not to let Alice or Edward see me looking up for him. Since the entire catwalk was made of iron, you could hear everything that went on up there. If a person took one step, most everyone could hear it throughout the House. But that was only if the discussion volume was normal. I could hear the footsteps walk across the width of the House. I knew it was Edward. When he turned the corner of the catwalk, I looked back to Alice, careful not to let myself look back up at Edward, who had stopped. Somehow, I just knew he'd try something from up there. I just _knew_ it. And sure enough, all of a sudden, something hit me and bounced off my chest. I jumped in surprise even though I expected it. Sitting on Alice's shoulder was the flying object that hit me. It was a green elastic bracelet that said "Forks Spartans" on it. I looked up to see Edward looking down at me from the catwalk.

"Well, now it's mine!" I called up at him.

"Fine. It's not mine; I just found it up here."

"Damn," I muttered.

Edward came down the ladder and pulled up a stool in front of us, tossing a water bottle in the air. He looked at Alice.

"So what's up in your life?"

"Jasper broke up with me."

And Edward froze. He caught the water bottle and kept it in his hand and just stared at Alice.

"When? Like two minutes ago?"

"No, more like two hours ago."

"I'm sorry…"

Alice sighed again. "It's okay. I'm good."

"Well," I said, knowing that what I was about to tell her wouldn't upset her, but brighten her mood a little, "if it makes you feel any better, I'm sorry that I cut our connection on Facebook the other night. I had to change my status to 'in a relationship'."

"Why?"

"Maybe because she's in a relationship." I could hear the slight edginess in Edward's voice as he spoke. _Yes…_

Alice looked up at me, her eyes wide. Then a million dollar smile spread across her face and she looked so alive. "You're kidding! Oh my gosh, Bella, this is wonderful!"

"Yeah…" Edward sat down in one of the audience seats.

"How did this happen?!" Alice exclaimed.

"There was this guy that my dad used to work for when I was little, he had a son, and you can kinda piece the rest together. I got to see him for the first time in ten years on Saturday and we… kinda hit it off."

"So," Edward began, "did anything consensual happen?"

I was taken aback by the sudden interrogation. "Umm… no…"

"No, I mean… I know you won't go as far as I go, but did you kiss him or anything?"

"Oh! Well, no. I've yet to have my first kiss. Everyone's been on me about that…"

"Well, I'm not. I'm not gonna push you into anything you don't wanna do. You kiss him on your own time."

Alice slowly and discreetly glanced at me, raising an eyebrow and reading my mind. I knew exactly what she was thinking. I was thinking the same thing. But seeing as how I was already getting under his skin with this James business, I decided to take it a little further. I turned my entire body towards Alice and spoke to her in a volume that made it sound like what I was saying was for her ears only, although I knew Edward would be able to hear.

"Seth sent me an 'I love you' message last night."

"Who's Seth?" Edward asked.

"My brother's best friend. He likes me a lot."

"How old is he?"

"Thirteen."

"And you're how old?"

"Sixteen."

"Tell him to fuck off!"

"Well, I don't wanna be mean about it." Then I turned back to Alice with the same volume I used before. "But he told all his friends that he slept with me!"

"That he slept with you?!" Edward sounded distraught, which sent waves of satisfaction through me.

"Yes!"

"Okay, give me his first name, last name, and his address and I'll make it to where… he _can't_ sleep with you."

Alice and I stifled our giggles.

"I defend my friends," he finished. Then he got up and put a hand on either side of the stool. And, slowly, he lifted his whole body into the air at a 120 degree angle. He kept his body straight and everything. And I was very impressed by it. It was almost as sexy as him driving with his wrist. Then, when he was done showing off, he sat back down. And when he did, Embry walked by and Edward had the coldest look on his face.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

"I hate Embry."

"Why?" Alice and I asked simultaneously.

"I almost kicked his ass at Homecoming."

"What happened?" I pressed.

"He said something to Tanya."

"And what did he say?"

"I don't know. Tanya wouldn't tell me."

"Then are you even sure he said anything?"

"Yeah, and apparently, it was so bad that she couldn't tell me. I mean, she was _so_ upset. One minute, she was fine; the next, she was crying so hard, mascara running, I thought she was gonna die. And she's a very well-composed person. So if _she's_ crying, someone must have died or something like that."

"That's terrible…"

"Not to mention that he slapped her."

"He _slapped_ her?"

"Yeah. Backstage during the play. But it was just like…" and he tapped Alice's cheek gently. "I honestly didn't care. But what I did care about was that she kissed that Paul kid right in front of me at Homecoming just to piss me off and, by God, it worked!"

"Who's Paul?" Alice asked. I had already heard a bit about him from Edward.

"One of Tanya's friends. He's, like, in love with her and he doesn't like that she's going out with me."

"So she I only did it to piss you off?" I verified.

"Yup."

"That's awful!"

"Yeah, well, I'm not gonna let one kiss ruin a relationship. But I told her that if it ever happens again, it's over."

I kinda wanted to tell him what I saw that night at Homecoming, but I kept quiet and tried to think about James. He was my main concern, but I kept letting my head go back to Edward. I couldn't help it. Just ten, Eric Yorkie showed up and sat down on the stool in front of us. I immediately became hostile.

"Yes?" I asked irritably.

"What's up? Geez…"

"You're getting annoying."

Edward looked up at him. "Eric, dude, you better leave her alone. _She will destroy you_."

"Man, don't I know it! Remember when she slapped me?"

"Hell yeah! You had red fingerprints on your face and I was laughing my ass off!"

Alice glanced at me, clearly clueless as to what they were talking about. I leaned in to her and told her that I'd fill her in later. And then the bell rang. Edward and Eric jumped up and sprang for the door. Alice and I gathered up our bags and left as well. I looked left to see the last glimpse of Edward for the day, but he wasn't there. Then I looked ahead and was surprised to see him walking my route to class. Unbelievable…

That afternoon, I was walking to my sixth period class. Edward had sixth period on the same floor as me, so it didn't surprise me when we ended up in the same hallway traffic jam. And then Alice was coming at me. Edward was right behind me, I knew, so I decided it was a good time to stop in front of Alice and check up on her.

"How are you feeling?" I asked her. At that moment, I felt the front of Edward's body pressed against the back of my own. It wasn't forceful, like he was pushing me. But it was pressed like he was intentionally trying to disorient me.

"I talked to Jasper."

"Oh my gosh… how did it go?" He pressed even further into me, but it still wasn't like he was trying to get me to move. I _knew_ he wasn't trying to get me to move. It was like he was trying to get a point across.

"I'll tell you later."

"Okay, Alice, tell me later."

"I will."

Then I turned back to the traffic jam ahead of me. I tried to break through the crowd of slow-movers. I felt the pressure of Edward's chest against my back. I felt my heart beating faster and faster.

"Just push through 'em, Bella," he said lowly in encouragement. The fine hairs on the back of my neck stood up and I felt chills all over my body. I silently did as I was told and made my way upstairs to my sixth period without looking back.

On Thursday, we started blocking our one-act, in which I had the first of two leads. Fuck my life. During one of our scenes, I spotted Edward walking across our set with an index card and a pencil in hand. He climbed up the ladder to the catwalk. I discreetly glanced up at the catwalk, which was made completely of iron. So if anyone made one move up there, the entire auditorium could hear it. There were stage lights keeping me from being able to see what was going on, but I could hear everything. However, once I started doing one of my major scenes, all sounds from the catwalk ceased immediately… and they never resumed. Throughout the rest of the play, it was dead silent on the catwalk, though Edward was still up there.

After we finished, I sat down in the House with my monologue of choice for my midterm exam. Noise resumed on the catwalk briefly before I heard him call my name.

"Bella!"

"Yes?" I replied, not even bothering to look up.

"I'm gonna throw down this index card to you and I want you to write down everything I tell you to write down. I don't have a pen."

_Liar_. "Okay," I said and caught the index card. I waited.

"Okay," he said, "fifteen dash sixteen by three over four."

I wrote that down and waited for more. But Edward was already walking towards the ladder. _You have got to be shitting me_! He could have easily memorized that information or, better yet, used the fucking pencil I saw him take with him! So I thought quickly. I turned away from where Edward would emerge to retrieve his index card and started up a conversation with Alice and two other girls in our acting class. I put the card between my index and middle fingers and casually stuck my thumb in my back pocket… just to see what he would do.

I heard Edward step off the stage and walk up the steps toward me. He didn't say my name or give any verbal warning; he just came up behind me and I felt the index card leave my fingers. I turned around just as Edward thanked me and walked away. I grabbed Alice and we snuck out to the classroom. Edward was looking over someone's shoulder at the computer. Stupid COD…

Then he got up and got in our faces. Alice excused herself to get water, leaving me and Edward alone in the classroom. He clapped his hands in front of my face and turned his body away from me, as if he was walking away from me. But he kept his head turned towards me and his eyes locked on mine. They bore into mine for at least three seconds before he looked away, leaving me stunned… though I did my best to hide it. My heart had stopped for the duration of the stare; I was petrified, frozen in shock. Alice came back and I maintained composure. After the bell rang, we all left silently for our next classes.

And that night, while I was waiting for James to pick me up, I stood in my dining room, looking out my window. I still had a fifteen minute wait, but I was home alone with nothing to do. So I continued to stare out the window. Then suddenly, I spotted familiar headlights at the intersection a quarter of a mile away from my house. They were the same size, shape, width, and design as the headlights of a Volvo. And even though it was dark, I could tell by the light glaring through them. The car was driving slowly, _unusually_ slow. I watched as it cruised down my road; I ran to the other side of the house where the car would run under the streetlamp so that I could see every detail of it for a split second. When it passed, it was undeniably as silver Volvo. It was still cruising, but as soon as it passed the warehouse, it took off at a ridiculous speed, as if the driver had floored the accelerator. My heart jumped into my throat and I impulsively ran out my front door as fast as I could towards the road.

I stopped in the middle of the paved road and stared down the direction the Volvo went. But it had already disappeared. I stood there, breathing heavily. I tried to clear my head, but it was no use. I could feel sanity leaving my body with every breath I took. I put my head in my hands and began to cry. After I composed myself well enough to see it, I pulled out my cell and began to text Alice.

_B: "A silver Volvo just drove by"_

_ A: "You think its Edward?"_

_ B: "no doubt. It was going slow until it went by the warehouse, then it was like the driver floored it"_

_ A: "hes been known for speeding…"_

_ B: "and I think you may be right."_

_ A: "about what?"_

_ B: "Edward."_

I closed my cell again and put my head in my hands. I continued to stand there in the middle of the road, sobbing and staring down the path on which the silver Volvo had sped away.

_Head in my hands,_

_ Here I am standin' in my bare feet;_

_ Watchin' you drive away,_

_ Watchin' you drive away…_


	14. Author's Note

A/N: Okay, readers. My Document Manager is being gay and won't let me have 15 documents in my system at one time, making it extremely difficult for me to update as frequently as an author should. So, to ensure that you won't have to wait two months for a new chapter, I am splitting the story into several parts. Each part will have an average of 15 chapters and the will be labeled by the order in which they come. Do not fret; the story is FAR from over. I have no intention of stopping until I have gotten to the bottom of this complicated timeline.


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